In the notes section of my phone, I have a note titled ‘THOUGHTS ON ODISSI AND DANCE’; a space ready for me to add to whenever a penny drops. The thoughts have been collecting slowly, with the idea that at some point, I would try and write and expand on them. So here we are.
I did a small grouping exercise earlier, trying to see if there were some broader themes that came up. These were the ones I felt kind of all fit together in one of the groups:
Dance is to make us feel something
Anchor a moment to a feeling
Express yourself — the fear to fully express
Connecting with our bodies — connecting with the earth
The disconnection is the trauma
Choosing to connect with a clear emotional state
First you have to connect the mind with the body. And then you have to disconnect the body and the mind.
I’m not going to go through and discuss each of them, rather stir them all together and see what comes out. Though there are a few clear themes that have emerged at the initial instance. So these are expanded thoughts on the themes of:
Emotion / Feeling / Connection / Clarity
In a way, each of those themes are pretty huge, and I could probably write about them at length (I could definitely think about them indefinitely). But they also each form part of a profound chain that takes us on a powerful internal journey.
One of the thoughts that has been percolating in my mental space in the last year or so is that in order to feel balanced and free, it is important for us to really feel ourselves. And the foundation of how we feel ourselves is through our emotions. They are the driving force behind our feelings.
Emotion /
If I were to try and describe the way I experience it, I would say the emotion is the singular sensation at the ‘heart’, and the feeling is the wider effect on the body, in all its nuances (not so different to the Indian classical art theory of bhava and rasa — that might have to be for another time though).
Emotion / Feeling /
As a dancer, my preferred tool to feel emotion through is movement and music (shocking I know right). The ongoing experience, complete and exhilarating, keeps me dedicated to dance — it is the thing that makes me feel the most alive.
I think this is a great moment for the classic quote from Merce Cunningham:
You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive.
Anyway I digress.
Emotion. Feeling.
Connection.
Connect with.
Emotions held in the body.
Emotions are held in the body.
The body is a powerful tool for feeling and connection, as it is the closest tangible thing to us. Going through the journey of connecting with the body can be quite a personal process of self discovery. Noticing how the body feels as it does different things — patterns, strengths and weaknesses — that highlight feelings and emotional states. Our entire self comes alive as we find different ways to connect to and understand our bodies.
Emotions / Feelings / Connection /
Emotions / Feelings / Connection / Clarity
I promise I haven’t just stuck clarity on the end for the sake of it. Although in a way it does feel slightly different from the others. It’s almost a by-product. I’m imagining it as some kind of (totally made up) colourful chemistry experiment, where you have your base mix, then you add emotion, then feelings, and then you add connection and then SUDDENLY the entire thing turns crystal clear like water.
And it’s that complete clarity of experience, a delicate balance of all these parts, that makes us feel so alive. That is what we are constantly seeking. It is certainly what I love the most. And it is what I love to see in others.
What are the main takeaways for me of this piece though? What do I feel are the bits that hit me strongest when I skim through the bullet points this all started from?
I think I can boil it down to one bit actually. Surprisingly easy!
It is important to fully feel.
Emotions are always present and outside our direct control. But how we feel them is the variable we choose.
I feel like from the 4 themes — emotion / feeling / connection / clarity — feeling is where to put the pressure, to allow the other steps to really thrive in our bodies. Let yourself be drawn to the things that really make you feel something (as long as it’s not harming anyone!). It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Seriously. Everything else will come.