January 2022 Newsletter

Hi everyone!

Can I still say happy new year? I'll take what is probably my last chance of saying it - happy new year! 🙂

This month's newsletter will share some of my thoughts about the beauty of Odiya culture, and details on a new term of odissi classes (starting next week!). Let's get to it! 

The beauty and sweetness of Odiya culture

Last year, I discovered a YouTube video that really had an impact on me. It was full of so much sweetness and pure devotion, and also just quite epic in its glimpse into some of the culture of Odisha. Odisha is the eastern state of India where odissi dance is from - 

Across India, different parts of the country have different deities they predominantly worship. And in Odisha, Jagannath is the absolute focal point. The name can be translated as 'Lord of the universe', with Jagan meaning universe and nath meaning lord.

We'll get to the video in just a moment, but just to set a bit more context first! Jagannath is often presented with his siblings, Subhadra and Balabhadra. Jagannath is on the right, Subahdra in the middle and Balabhadra on the left.

And as a trio they are quite unique in the material used for their 'bodies' when positioned in temples or on alters (murti is the term used for the altar figure). Rather than being formed out of brass or stone, as is the more usual practice for murtis in Hindu temples, they are instead carved out of wood and then painted. The worship of Jagannath is said to have tribal origins, and it is suggested to be pre-Vedic - so prior to the development of a lot of what we recognise as 'Hinduism' today.

And a lot of what we see today links back to tribal practices. Nature features constantly. A connection with the earth is almost palpable.

So I guess that is one component that I find so compelling in this video.

Another is the sweetness that emerges from the devotion to this presiding deity. We see and experience it all the time in odissi dance. In odissi, it is often seen and experienced with strongly feminine attributes - the curves of the body, the longing to unite with the beloved, the sense of awe. This video I love features a couple of priests and I just love to see the love and devotion in their eyes as they sing to their beloved.

And finally it is just incredible to see all the clips of the worship of Jagannath and his siblings in one of the main annual celebrations in Puri, Odisha. The thousands upon thousands of people coming together purely for the worship of their most beloved. Even if you are not a religious person, it is really incredible to watch.

And the whole editing of the video is just perfect it's such good vibes!!!!

The first 2 minutes or so is some serious chanting, and then we enter a blissful 25 minutes. I hope you can take the time to put it on, either just in the background, or to watch it as a way to connect with and understand a culture that has so much depth and sweetness, that might be quite different to your own.

Odissi Classes!

A new term of odissi technique classes is starting this Wednesday 19th January! The classes are with Bhumi Dance Academy and I am continuing to cover Elena Catalano's classes.

Level wise - it will be suitable for complete beginners as well as improvers or anyone looking to focus in on their odissi technique and embodiment. We will be starting working through each of the standard drilling exercises week by week, as well as excerpts of choreographies to feel how the technique translates into dance. I think one of the things I love most about odissi is its technique component, so I'm really happy to be able to focus in on that, and help people really feel the dance form alive in their bodies.

As I put it in my recent social media posts -

Embodying elegance, strength and presence. Would you like to learn how to embody those qualities in your deepest self through dance?

I always feel like dance, in any form, provides us with endless metaphors for life. In life as in dance. In dance as in life. And in learning how to integrate the teachings of odissi in our dancing body, we also learn how to integrate them into our broader lives.

It's pretty ultimate. Good for the soul.

If you have ever been interested in learning, the time is now!

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The classes are hybrid, so we will have both in-person and online options. The classes will also be recorded if you are not able to join live - or also if you just want to review the class again afterwards!

Details:
In-person location: Studio 9, The Place, 16 Flaxman Terrace, London, WC1H 9AT
Date: Wednesday evenings from 19/01/22 for 10 weeks
Time: 1830-2000 GMT

Fore more details please visit: http://www.bhumidance.com/danceclasses

Finally...

And as a final note if you made it this far, here is a lovely image captured by Simon Richardson from my performance at Kadam's Songs of the Heart, in November last year.

📷: Simon Richardson

Till next time...

Maryam Shakiba

🌺🌺🌺

March Newsletter

Hi everyone!

I hope you are doing well, feeling peaceful and finding silver linings.

I know I know I missed sending the February newsletter. I just kept putting it off and then suddenly the month was over! But I'll hopefully make up for it with this one. It's a bit of a history and culture edition! I'll be sharing some of my thoughts on an amazing discussion on the last remaining temple dancers of the Jagganath Temple in Puri, Odisha. And a bit of news on a new role I've taken on!

Re-Cognising Dance: Rituals of the Devadasis of Puri, with Prof. Frederique-Apffel Marglin

This was an absolutely incredible discussion organised by Re-Cognising Dance, a platform developed over the last year that aims to create a safe space for learning, discussion and dialogue on dance (specifically South Asian/Indian classical dance). This particular discussion was about the rituals of the devadasis of Puri.

I'm not a scholar on the subject I'm about to try and explain in a nutshell, so apologies for any mistakes I might make when trying to communicate! It's a pretty big subject with regional variations.

If you're not familiar with the term, devadasis were a historic tradition in some temples in India. They were women and girls that were adopted by specific temples, and through ritual ceremonies would be 'married' to the deity of that temple. They were an intrinsic part of the temple worship rituals, singing and dancing as part of them. In the Jagganath temple in Odisha, the devadasis (or Maharis as they were also called) formed a core part of the daily rituals since at least the 12th Century, continuously till the 1960s/70s.

The discussion was with Prof. Frederique-Apffel Marglin, who carried out field research in the early 1970s on the last remaining maharis. This was so exciting!!! I'd read her book 'Wives of the God-King' years ago early in my odissi journey - it didn't occur to me she might still be around to talk about it! 🤦🏽‍♀️ Anyway the ensuing discussion really had me hanging on every word.

If you want to watch the whole talk you can find it here:

The full documentary they share an excerpt of is on their YouTube channel as well.

Some of the points of the discussion that I found particularly interesting/got me thinking were:

• The decline of the tradition was actually nothing directly to do with the British (according to Prof Frederique), though perhaps could be linked to a colonial gaze that was taken on by the state government of Odisha, who discouraged it. And that the Jagganath temple did not actually fall under the 1947 Devadasi Act, which outlawed the dedication of girls to temple service.
  
  

• The big concept that I think was kind of the pillar theme was that auspiciousness is different from purity. It was so interesting to understand that in a bit more detail, since western theory conflates the two. "Things that generate life and kingdom come from auspiciousness. Yet these are often also impure."
  
  

• Also this idea around purity maintaining order was really interesting and not one I had considered before.
  
  

• Also at the end, the discussion around how dance gives access to 'bhoga shakti'/connection to bhogam and not mokshya (liberation in the yogic sense) was super interesting. I had just come across the term bhoga for the first time in a yoga book I was reading in the week before the talk, and it talked about it in quite a negative sense (bhoga asana - focusing on the sensory pleasure of doing asana, which is not what traditional yoga wants you to do!). But in this context bhogam was about embodiment (through the senses - from what I understand). Which makes so much sense because that is what we are trying to achieve actually in odissi dance! And then it was said that in the tantric tradition, moksha and bhogam are one. And again to me this makes so much sense. We work so hard in our dance at embodiment, and I never could quite make that smooth link between how this intense work on embodiment leads to mokshya, which always seems to be about withdrawing from the body.

Gosh it was just all SO GOOD, I mean there was so much more to it than I captured in these few bullet points here. I would highly recommend listening to the discussion if it is something you are interested in. I can't explain why really, but this subject just gets my entire being fully engaged. I experience this sensation of being so alert and trying to become like a sponge to soak in the history and tradition as much as I can. I feel so desperate to know everything about it. I can't explain why really.

The reality though is that this form of devotional servitude no longer has a place in our modern world. We can't go back to this time and I am not sure if I would want us to - the world's value system has changed too much and we have become more and more aware of the risks and realities of exploitation. But it is heartbreaking nonetheless that this living link is all but lost now. I'm so grateful to Prof Frederique for carrying out this research and capturing some remnants of it at least.

If you are interested in reading the book, you can read the online PDF here: http://oaob.nitrkl.ac.in/210/2/Wives_of_The_God-King.pdf
It is unfortunately out of print!

I'd love to hear from you if you've read the book or listened to the talk! What were your big take-aways? What hit deeply for you?

New Dance Role!
I'm super happy to share that this week I started as Outreach Project Co-ordinator for the Centre for Advanced Training (CAT) Yuva Gati programme! This is with the DanceXchange CAT in Birmingham.

Centres for Advanced Training (CATs) in dance are funded by the Department of Education, and are found across the UK. They help to identify and assist young people with exceptional potential, who can then benefit from world-class specialist training as part of a broader dance education.

The DanceXchange CAT in Birmingham runs the national South Asian Dance programme - Yuva Gati. I've been brought in to deliver the outreach programme to make sure we maximise engagement and reach for the September 2021 intake.

If you feel like reading more about it have a look here: https://www.dancexchange.org.uk/programmes/yuva-gati/

Exciting right?! What an amazing opportunity to support the development of the next generation of South Asian dancers in the UK.

Till next time...

That's everything for this month! I'll try not to leave April's newsletter to the final hour 😅

Hope you are feeling the bloom of spring in your bones!

Warm wishes,
Maryam

January Newsletter

2021

Not going to lie, I am already missing being in 2020. Not for the events! But just because as a year it sounded so cool. Anyone else? Not that there is much point missing something as relentlessly changing as time! Whatever my emotions on the matter, time keeps going so I guess I will too.

"In Dance as in Life"

This is a phrase that came really early to me in my dance journey. And in my yoga practice as well. It tries to capture the idea that the way we move, the elements we find difficult, the things we find easy etc, are often pointing to parallel experiences in our wider life. 

As an example, I have always found balancing very difficult. And in some ways it can be seen as an isolated part of my dance and yoga practice that I need to work on. But I can also consider that actually in life in general, finding my balance is something that I have found incredibly difficult as well. Balancing spending time with my family, loved ones, giving enough energy to my personal practices, developing in my non-dance career. 

Quite often, we can use our application of how we grow in our movement practice to how we grow in life. In the case of balancing, recognising that all balances are a constant work in progress. The stillness of a balance being a complete illusion.

While at a superficial glance a balancing posture looks perfectly still and passive, it is in fact in constant incredibly subtle motion. You only have to watch ballet dancers' feet as they train on balance boards to see what an active practice balancing is. 

Another perspective is the illusion of a clear distinction between balance and imbalance. Black and white. As if there is no in between, and there is no salvaging a balance once it is lost. Once again this assumes that to balance is a passive rather than active act. You either have it or you don't, you can have it for a moment and then it can be lost - hold your breath and hope for the best! But when you recognise that you can actually engage and adjust constantly, and that that's ok and actually very welcome... everything changes!

And I really feel like these lessons that we learn through our application to refining movement (or the apparent lack of!) can be applied to our wider lives. Finding a balancing point in our lives is not necessarily something we figure out once and then it's done. It is a constant work in progress, and that is ok! And some might find it easier than others - and maybe those that find it easier also find balancing poses easier?! (Please note this is not a tested theory)

I've honed in on balance as it's something I was thinking about yesterday, but this kind of thinking - of what is really happening in a movement, and what those movements represent if we try to find parallels in life - gives me so much constant food for thought and self development. And also I often find as I develop something in my movement world, it ripples out into how I approach my wider life.

Have you ever thought about these things? What did you notice and what parallels did you find? I'd love to hear from you!

New Video!

Some of you might have already seen, but I uploaded a new dance video onto my YouTube channel! It was filmed in September, I think in that last week of real heat that we had here in the UK... how I miss being warm and dancing barefoot on the grass! I really long for that sensation on quite a deep level really. Winter is hard for me (I'm typing this sat at my computer literally wrapped in a blanket).

It's a bit of all sorts; some yoga, some experimenting and some classical choreography. I hope you like it! You are welcome to subscribe to my channel as well 😊 More content is in the works!

Till next time...

Thanks as always for reading! And wishing you a happy rest of the month 😊

Warm wishes (literally!),
Maryam 🌺

December Newsletter

Seasons greetings everyone!

I hope that whatever the circumstances, you have been finding a sense of peace and happiness in this festive period 💛

I was planning on sending out this newsletter yesterday, but had a feeling of not really knowing what I wanted to say and share with you all. But yesterday evening a phrase came up which really struck me.

Structural change.

I had a moment last night where I felt like I am experiencing this on a deep level. Like some kind of fundamental shift is happening, refocusing where I am placing my energy in life (and dance). And a sense that this shift has only been possible because of this extended break from the normal routine of life.

I also feel like this structural change is being experienced by many people, if not near everyone, in many different ways.

It makes me think of my first trip to India in 2009. When I was choosing how long to go for, I picked 5 months out of the air (no idea why it just sounded about right...!). And something interesting started to happen at around the 3-4 month mark. It was enough time away from home, in a totally different environment and routine, to be able to look at my life back home with a sense of detachment and clarity. To really think about what my values were and what was important to me in life. And to make clearer decisions about the choices I would make moving forward when I went back home.

(Reading a lot of philosophy books definitely played into this all!)

It was in that state that I discovered odissi and was able to mentally re-orientate my life towards it.

Now I'm not saying we all have to go to India for months at a time to discover our life purpose 😂 But it taught me the power of having extended periods of time away from what has become 'normal' to us. It taught me that sometimes it takes breaking away from routine for literally months for our true path or what truly matters to reveal itself to us. Things that just wouldn't have been revealed if we had carried on as things had been. It taught me that sometimes we need to create space for real change to occur.

This pandemic has been many things, but I feel like in many ways it has been a precursor for structural change, snapping almost all of us out of our usual routines and changing the dynamic of society. It has created a new space for all of us to live in, for over 7 months. This new space has been playing out in so many ways, on individual as well as global levels. I do feel in some ways like we are on the brink of significant positive changes, which I sincerely hope come to fruition.

Have you been experiencing a sense of structural change or similar? Perhaps internally or perhaps on a day to day level? I'd love to hear from you 🥰

The Lotus in Eastern Thought

On a slightly different note, here is a lotus flower:

If you have even a passing familiarity with any Eastern texts/imagery, you may have noticed the lotus as a recurring theme. Whether it's used as a descriptive tool for gods and goddesses (describing lotus eyes, hands, feet etc), to symbolise energetic fields in the body, or any other of the myriad ways in which the lotus appears. Maybe you wondered of all flowers, why the lotus? Why is this the one flower we always refer to?

The lotus has particular significance as it is rooted in the mud of lakes and rivers. And even when the water is murky, it pushes upwards till the surface is broken. Where a most beautiful flower then blooms under the light of the sun! And it is this parallel with the human condition that makes the lotus one of the principal symbols used throughout Eastern religions/philosophies/art.  

Keep an eye out for the lotus, and take a moment to smile inside whenever you see it 😊

Till next time...

Thank you for reading 🥰 Wishing you all a wonderful last few days of 2020, and good cheer and fortune going into 2021!

Warm wishes,
Maryam 💗

November Newsletter

Hello!

It's admittedly been a quiet couple of months on the newsletter front. 

In terms of dance life, back in September I decided I was ready to venture back to the studio again. I usually train at my local gym as they have fantastic studio space that is empty for large chunks of the day when there aren't any classes. 

I'd not been to the studio for 6 months, and I knew I would have lost a lot of stamina and strength as I'm not able to dance 'properly' at home in my flat. Odissi is loud with its high impact footwork, so in my home environment there is always a feeling of holding back to not disturb my neighbours.

We really ground ourselves with our feet in this dance, and the dynamic stamping, which reverberates through our bodies, plays a large part in shaping the form.

So I can confirm that I had lost a lot of stamina and strength! And as anyone who is involved in any kind of physical practice will know, these things take a long time to build and a short time to lose.

So began the process of building my stamina back up. I had a couple of false starts, but by mid October I felt like I was starting to step back into my odissi body again, which was such a wonderful feeling. Just a couple more sessions away from a baseline level of fitness that could actually deliver dance choreographies with a sense of life and narrative, rather than just struggling to keep up towards the end!

And then there we have it - the UK's second full lockdown and the gyms are closed again. 

It's disappointing but also it's ok. There are not many predictions we can make at the moment about how life is going to look from one month to the next. And there is a lot of other work to be done that doesn't involve the studio. I'm not worried about not having enough to do in the meantime, and my body is here, healthy and ready to be trained again when the time comes. Happy to give thanks for that!

I'll keep the newsletter short and sweet for this month. It really has been a quiet time for me! 

Thank you for reading.

Hoping you are all safe, happy and well.

Speak soon,
Maryam <3 

Non dance related - when I went to Hedingham Castle in Essex in early October - one of Europe's best surviving Norman castles. 900 years old!

23rd October - A studio day

August Newsletter

<< I thought it would be a good idea to post my newsletter here - a few months later! >>

This month's newsletter cover dance over lockdown, what I've been reading and a note on Ganesh Chaturthi.

Dancing and Lockdown
I wrote two parts of a Dancer in Lockdown series of blog posts for Pulse, the UK's main online South Asian music and dance publication. They cover my early lockdown phases of absolutely no motivation and capturing when inspiration found its way back in again. If you click through on the images below, you should come through to them :) 
 

Dancer in Lockdown - On Practice

Dancer in Lockdown - On the Internet and Learning

I hope you enjoy reading them!

Continuing the theme of dance and lockdown, I was also interviewed by GEN Next, a new platform for discussion of topics in the South Asian dance community in the UK. The theme was 'Creativity and Lockdown', and I was interviewed by Saloni Saraf. It was a really interesting conversation, where I talked a bit more about how I got into odissi, how my lockdown experience has been, and some heartfelt discussions about what drives me as a dancer and questions I ask myself. It's just over 50 minutes, and if you would like to listen to it click below.

Interview with GEN Next - Creativity and Lockdown

Currently Reading
Reading is one of my most absolute favourite things. I don't give it anywhere near as much time as it deserves, but I've picked it up with some fresh fire over the last month.Going for it and ordering some new books that I've been wanting for years! I bought quite a hefty stack of books about 5 years ago and have been incredibly slowly making my way through them. I think I felt I'd made enough progress that it was time to reignite my excitement with new books!

I'll save the new books I ordered for next month's newsletter, this time around I'll share what I'm actually currently reading.

This is a subject I've been wanting to read FOR YEARS, not even realising it was on my bookshelf THIS WHOLE TIME. Full on anatomy geek out but linking with what is mechanically happening in the body when we practice yoga. Currently on a chapter all about breathing. If you know me in person in some kind of movement setting, you'll know I'm really into it. So this is just hitting all the right spots.

I've got quite a bit more to go on this book as it's a solid number of pages and it's pretty dense, but I am so excited to develop an actual technical understanding of how yoga is working on a (basic) functional level. I know yoga is not entirely this, but this is stuff I love to think about.

Online Yoga Videos
I filmed my first YouTube yoga tutorials! It actually started as something I did for my non-dance-work colleagues, as we had all started working from home and it felt like something nice to do. Then I thought I may as well upload it to YouTube!

I'll be honest, the quality of the video/audio footage is just simple. But the information will change your life if you integrate it into your regular practice! And it has made me realise this is something I need to put more energy into. I want to start sharing what I've learnt over the past decade of studying yoga more, and this feels like the best medium for me.

You can find the series if you click on the image below!

Yoga with Maryam: Tadasana Series

These 3 videos are an introduction to the basic Tadasana sequence from the Vinyasa Krama style of yoga.

Video 1: Introduction where I explain some of the things we'll be going through

Video 2: Breakdown of the different parts of the sequence. This is a reference video, so you can come back to this one any time if you need some clarity on a movement.

Video 3: Full sequence run through. Coordinated with breath. This one you can press play any time once you are more familiar with the movements and follow along.
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Let me know if you give it a try and how it goes - I would really love to hear!

I've been busy gathering the pieces I need for setting up my own little home studio (that will have professional level videos from now on!) and you'll be seeing more videos over the next few months.

Ganesh Chaturthi
Saturday 22nd August, was Ganesh Chaturthi, which is the Hindu elephant headed god Ganesha's birthday!

It's a time to celebrate Ganesha and everything he represents - he is the remover of obstacles and is blessed with the illumination of wisdom. He is invoked at the beginning of auspicious events so that energy can flow unimpeded to its goal and allow the greatest truth to bear fruit.

I loved this breakdown and invitation my dear dance sister Sedona Soulfire offered via Instagram. She has a way of recognising what is happening in embodied practices at an energetic level, and communicates that in a way that is meaningful, even if you aren't at all familiar with the symbolism/culture. Please click through on the image if you would like to spend a lovely 8 minutes with Sedona the human light beam.

Sedona Soulfire on Ganesh Chaturthi

Om Gam Ganapatihe Namaha!

Till next time...
I think I'll leave it there for now!

Thank you so much for being part of my journey, it means a lot that you want to hear more about me and my work and my practice.

Warm summer wishes,
Maryam

Emotion / Feeling / Connection / Clarity

In the notes section of my phone, I have a note titled ‘THOUGHTS ON ODISSI AND DANCE’; a space ready for me to add to whenever a penny drops. The thoughts have been collecting slowly, with the idea that at some point, I would try and write and expand on them. So here we are.

I did a small grouping exercise earlier, trying to see if there were some broader themes that came up. These were the ones I felt kind of all fit together in one of the groups:

• Dance is to make us feel something

• Anchor a moment to a feeling

• Express yourself — the fear to fully express

• Connecting with our bodies — connecting with the earth

• The disconnection is the trauma

• Choosing to connect with a clear emotional state

• First you have to connect the mind with the body. And then you have to disconnect the body and the mind.

I’m not going to go through and discuss each of them, rather stir them all together and see what comes out. Though there are a few clear themes that have emerged at the initial instance. So these are expanded thoughts on the themes of:

Emotion / Feeling / Connection / Clarity

In a way, each of those themes are pretty huge, and I could probably write about them at length (I could definitely think about them indefinitely). But they also each form part of a profound chain that takes us on a powerful internal journey.

One of the thoughts that has been percolating in my mental space in the last year or so is that in order to feel balanced and free, it is important for us to really feel ourselves. And the foundation of how we feel ourselves is through our emotions. They are the driving force behind our feelings.

Emotion /

If I were to try and describe the way I experience it, I would say the emotion is the singular sensation at the ‘heart’, and the feeling is the wider effect on the body, in all its nuances (not so different to the Indian classical art theory of bhava and rasa — that might have to be for another time though).

Emotion / Feeling /

As a dancer, my preferred tool to feel emotion through is movement and music (shocking I know right). The ongoing experience, complete and exhilarating, keeps me dedicated to dance — it is the thing that makes me feel the most alive.

I think this is a great moment for the classic quote from Merce Cunningham:

You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive.

Anyway I digress.

Emotion. Feeling.

Connection.

Connect with.

Emotions held in the body.

Emotions are held in the body.

The body is a powerful tool for feeling and connection, as it is the closest tangible thing to us. Going through the journey of connecting with the body can be quite a personal process of self discovery. Noticing how the body feels as it does different things — patterns, strengths and weaknesses — that highlight feelings and emotional states. Our entire self comes alive as we find different ways to connect to and understand our bodies.

Emotions / Feelings / Connection /

Emotions / Feelings / Connection / Clarity

I promise I haven’t just stuck clarity on the end for the sake of it. Although in a way it does feel slightly different from the others. It’s almost a by-product. I’m imagining it as some kind of (totally made up) colourful chemistry experiment, where you have your base mix, then you add emotion, then feelings, and then you add connection and then SUDDENLY the entire thing turns crystal clear like water.

And it’s that complete clarity of experience, a delicate balance of all these parts, that makes us feel so alive. That is what we are constantly seeking. It is certainly what I love the most. And it is what I love to see in others.

What are the main takeaways for me of this piece though? What do I feel are the bits that hit me strongest when I skim through the bullet points this all started from?

I think I can boil it down to one bit actually. Surprisingly easy!

It is important to fully feel.

Emotions are always present and outside our direct control. But how we feel them is the variable we choose.

I feel like from the 4 themes — emotion / feeling / connection / clarity — feeling is where to put the pressure, to allow the other steps to really thrive in our bodies. Let yourself be drawn to the things that really make you feel something (as long as it’s not harming anyone!). It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Seriously. Everything else will come.

The Mirror : Darpana

The darpana pose is seen everywhere in odissi. The woman looking at her reflection in the mirror. It represents many things. With a modern superficial lens, we might see vanity. But if we look a little deeper, it unfolds. To see the beauty in yourself, to recognise the divinity in your own eyes, and to take pleasure in that experience.

Somehow in this moment, in this picture, something clicked. But actually in my dance journey, this is a pose I have had trouble with. How to find that internal state to be able to hold this feeling for more than a fleeting moment. I had to really look at myself (metaphorically!) to deconstruct what was going on. And to put myself back together believing what I saw. .

It’s all such a process. There’s a movement around embodiment yoga growing, and to me this dance hits the absolute bullseye of what embodied yoga is. The mental, emotional and physical deconstruction you experience, and the sublime and solid framework you are put back together in. Oh and you get to dance while doing it!

Photo taken @ncpamumbai during a dance photography workshop 😊 #odissi#darpana #indianclassicaldance #maryamshakiba #embodiedyoga#yogaofdance #reflections#metaphorsforlife #indiandance#indianclassicaldance #incredibleindia

Dancing into liberation and fulfilment

This is one of my favourite quotes, and it really captures everything I feel about dance and my practice.

"In the Indian tradition, dance is a means of gaining liberation through sadhana or the discipline required to perfect it. And it is in this constant attempt to express the core of all human emotion. from joy and passion to anger and fury, through the gestures and movements of the human body, that offers the path to creative and spiritual fulfilment."

- Shringara, by Alka Pande

A Month in Churches

I've been spending a lot of time in churches this advent. It's been really special.

Evensong at Southwark Cathedral. Sitting quietly in a cavernous medieval church in Gloucestershire, lit only by a handful of candles. Finding myself through synchronicity and positive interactions, kneeling on the floor at the very front of an evening mass at the epic St Patrick's church in Soho Square (do go in if you are ever passing by, it is jaw dropping, like being in Rome, not even kidding). Staring in awe at the ceiling of Hampton Court Palace's Chapel Royal. State carol service at the Chapel Royal in the Tower of London. Evening carol service at St Martin's in the Fields off Trafalgar Square.  Passing a church on a walk, peeking in and hearing an orchestra rehearsing New World Symphony (Hovis song) for a concert that evening (hair-raising). 

It's given me a lot to reflect on. 

Chapel Royal, Tower of London

I've thought about the role that churches have played historically in our society. I heard a great quote that the history of England is found in its churches.

I've thought about how in all that London gets ripped up and modernised with new developments of flats, churches are often all that is left of the past. One of the few things that seem to have withstood raging capitalism.

St Patricks Church, Soho Square

I've thought about Christmas. Going to these carol and advent services, it has been amazing to actually experience and feel what Christmas is really all about. It's been a bit of a nostalgia train as well, singing carols that I loved when I was a child, hearing the stories again that I already know so well.

St Martin in the Fields, Trafalgar Square

I've thought about stories. And how when we hear these stories growing up, linked with certain times of year, year after year, it generates a feeling of connection. To yourself, to history, to others. A sense of sharing an experience. Creating a ritual through retelling. And the Christmas story is such a rich one with such heady imagery! Taking you to pastures, deserts, the stars, the innocence of a baby, the love of parents, a straw filled stable, angels, gold, frankincense and myrrh. It is something to feel that this story is part of me and my culture and my growing up.  

Southwark Cathedral

I've thought about how much I love when sacred and historic spaces are alive and active with their original purpose. Going to the carol service at the Tower of London really brought that to life. While the rest of the fortress is now a museum, with barely a shadow left of what various parts would actually have been used for, the chapel is still alive as a place of worship. A full congregation singing, sermons, an angelic choir, the organist filling the space with music. This is where people have been coming to pray for hundreds and hundreds of years, and here we were doing the same for real. The thread of history still being spun.

I've thought about how as much as I am starting to understand and appreciate certain aspects of Christianity, certain fundamental elements I disagree with. But that is ok, because at an even more fundamental level, I know that we are on the same page. I also could understand why devoted Christians/followers of other religions worry that the lack of spiritual life in society today is leading to a breakdown of values. A really sacred space was being created and shared and I could see how the idea of people not having that in their lives was sad and scary. 

Chapel Royal, Hampton Court Palace

I've thought about how much I love Christmas carols and choirs. And how when you go to a service and sing your heart out, and the choir sings the more complex harmonies alongside you, inviting you into a magnificent auditory and sensory experience, you really feel like you are part of something beautiful. 

It's been a December to remember. It's felt like a real blessing to spend so much of it in sacred spaces and ceremonies. Giving thanks!

<3 

Jayadeva & Radha

Setting the scene...

I've been reading the most wonderful book over the last few months; Radha, from Gopi to Goddess. It's part of my morning reading ritual, where, when I can stay at home and not have to rush anywhere first thing, I enjoy sitting down with a tankard of herbal tea and reading on the sofa.

The book is a collection of essays compiled (and some written) by Harsha V. Dehejia, exploring the concept of Radha through history. Be it through poetry, painting, historical research, dance etc. Super interesting!

My morning reading books are always ones that require a bit more concentration and contemplation, so ones that aren't well suited to a commute on the tube. Also books that are a bit too big to carry in my bag make it into my morning reading :P  They take a bit of time to finish these days... as for various reasons my quiet mornings have fallen in number a little. But it's been a haven of a ritual I've developed over the last couple of years, and every time I'm able to enter it, I feel like I'm entering a space where I can be quiet and absorb new knowledge and savour the nourishment that peaceful mornings and learning brings.

Also I'll happily confess that I'm not a super early morning person and sometimes morning reading time doesn't start till after 10am :P

The main man - Jayadeva!

So while I've been learning soooo many things in this book, one of the things that hit home recently is how instrumental Jayadeva was in the creation of Radha. As in, he essentially wrote her into existence.

Bit of a nutshell background for those not familiar - Jayadeva was a 12th century Indian poet, who is best known for writing the epic love song about Radha & Krishna - the Gita Govinda.

Krishna is considered to be a form of Lord Vishnu (sustaining force of the universe - part of the core 'creator-sustainer-destroyer' trinity of Hinduism made up of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva). In the stories, Vishnu in his godly form never enters our physical realm, but he does enter our world in the form of a number of avatars, of which Krishna is one.

Radha in comparison, is a mere mortal. A gopi (milkmaid) in the village of Vrindavan, where Krishna also spends his youthful years. And yes, Vrindavan is an actual place in India :) 

While Vrindavan is full of gopis who all love Krishna (who can blame them - his beauty and charm and skill with which he plays the bansuri (Indian flute) are stuff of legend), and while Krishna enjoys engaging in amorous games of love with them... there is also one gopi who he loves the most - Radha. And it is their relationship that the Gita Govinda explores. The passion, the longing, the jealousy, the betrayal, the ecstasy of union. She represents every woman, every stage of love on the one hand, and represents the relationship between us as mortals and the divine on the other.

There's a whole world of themes and topics to explore and discuss here, hence it has inspired centuries worth of art, poetry, music, dance, contemplation and devotional practice. I'm not going to even try and get any deeper than I have just done! But it was so fascinating to think about how actually before Jayadeva wrote his poem, the idea of Radha as a standalone and developed character did not exist. There is mention in part of an older text of a favoured gopi, but she isn't afforded more than one line of text really.

So for me it was wonderful to take a moment to give thanks to Jayadeva for bringing Radha to life through his writing. For creating the space for such a rich world of love, devotion and beauty to grow. For giving us an embodiment through which we could discover our hearts and souls. 

~ Jai Jayadeva! ~

Artwork by Vekkas M

Fertile Carriers

Over the weekend I had a period where I was thinking about what it really means to be a fertile woman in this current age and culture. One in which more women are choosing not to have children, or not have children till later.

So I was pondering this question.

How to be fertile carriers of this earth without physically giving birth.

How to cultivate and embody the earth, and the gifts and lessons it gives us.

How to experience a sense of fulfilment and completion in that.

I feel like a lot of my own practices have been leading me to this point. I feel like yoga has given me super effective tools to develop this connection to the earth and life force energy that we are all bearers of. And I feel like odissi has given me further super effective tools to shape and fill this connection into one which is powerful, luscious and exquisite. It’s amazing to be able to create the space to feel all those colours within ourselves. 

I feel sometimes in the broader sense, stepping back from my own specific practices, that that is what my life work is building (slowly). Not to say I will never have children (be at ease, womb!), but to be finding a sense of love, enjoyment, fulfilment and peace in my body and, by proxy, the earth. And to communicate that sense to others in the best way I can. Embodying the lessons I have learnt, if not in another human being, in myself. 

Not All Practice Makes Perfect

This article is an important read: http://nautil.us/issue/35/boundaries/not-all-practice-makes-perfect

I can often be heard saying "practice makes perfect", or "it's just practice" when people compliment me on Odissi or my yoga practice. I feel like it's important to get across that it is no 'natural' or innate talent; I have worked hard at these things for years, and if you practice as well there is no reason you can't also do these things. The meritocratic nature of developing skills is something I'm a big advocate of.

But actually perhaps I'm not giving the full story of my development and experience. Because practice is not just repeating the same thing over and over again expecting that it will get better. There is definitely something a bit deeper you have to pull out. There is that inner drive to constantly improve, and understanding the smaller steps you have to break down and through along the way to ensure you get there.

If you are practising and not improving, it is not a case of 'I just can't do it'; it is a case of taking the time to understand exactly where your barrier is. Exactly what element are you stuck at, and exploring different ways to get around the barrier. That depth of understanding of yourself and your craft will take you deep and true.

The article also makes a valuable point about feedback. We need feedback to identify where we are falling short. If we can't see why we are not succeeding, no doubt someone else who has been there before us can.

Purposeful practice
Push beyond your comfort zone
Find ways around barriers
Use feedback

The impossible is just the next breakthrough.

‪#‎practice‬ ‪#‎practicemakesperfect‬

Kamatala Festival 2015 Odissi Workshop

This is an adapted choreography I taught as part of my Divinity of Dance workshop at Kamatala Festival, July 2015, Exeter, UK.

It is a simplified excerpt from Hari Riha Mughda, a storytelling item, exploring the play between Krishna and the Gopis (milkmaids). In the workshop we were exploring various themes, one of which is the idea that through devotion to Krishna and the acting out of his past-times, we experience liberation of the soul.

Thank you to Namrata Dhawan for sharing this video she took of me! It is a bit shadowy... I forgot to take into account the light behind me! <3 

Music: Water Girl by Zakir Hussain

I made a new website! :D

Welcome to my new website :D After some deliberation, I decided to 'keep it real', and use my actual name for my dance profile. As much as I love being 'Maryam Freeflower', it is good to also feel like my actual name is enough :) 

Many blessings and peace and LOVE!

Maryam Shakiba <3

Dancing feet... yoga toes :)